2013 Clownies

Remember, these are the best that I listened to and reviewed, not that were released in 2013. Eligible candidates run from The [Sister-In-Law] Christmas Coalition to Sweet Relief: A Benefit For Victoria Williams.

Album Of The Year – The Silent Majority by Life, Sex & Death
Did you know I gave Magical Mystery Tour five clowns? I didn’t remember that, either. A re-review of Satchel’s The Family also came in at five clowns, but I remember liking that less than I remember liking it back in the day, if you follow. The Silent Majority, another re-review, was the highlight of the year.

Artist Of The Year – Screaming Trees
Could have been Los Lobos, too, as I basically reviewed both bands’ excellent discographies over the course of the year.

Song Of The Year – “Julie Paradise” by Screaming Trees
Nothing jumped out from reviewing the mixes, so I’m going off of memory and calling it the final track on Screaming Trees’ Sweet Oblivion. Two categories for the boys from Ellensburg, nice job.

Fat Clown’s Best Albums Of 2013

I only reviewed three 2013 albums in 2013 itself, but have reviewed four more since 2014 began. So I’m going to bend my normal rules and include those here, where I present the seven best albums of 2013.

1.5 Clowns

7. Pearl Jam – Lighting Bolt
Pearl Jam’s worst album, hands down.

2 Clowns
6. The Airborne Toxic Event – Such Hot Blood
My how the mighty have fallen, as most of these songs are complete snoozers.

5. Four Tet – Beautiful Rewind
A mixed bag of bleeps and bloops. So close and yet so far from being a very good album.

3.5 Clowns
4. Alice In Chains – The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here
I remember liking this four clowns worth. I must have reviewed during a critical phase. Anyway, Alice In Chains has still got it, and there are a few excellent tracks here.

4 Clowns
3. Reign Of Fury – World Detonation
As long as we’re going to revisit pop of the 1980’s under the guise of hipster alternative, let’s bring back mid-80’s thrash as well.

2. Lucius – Wildewoman
Would have benefited from better production, but out of the current crop of Brooklyn hipster music, this has some of the best songs. Both of these four clown reviews were gifts from KEN.

4.5 Clowns
1. Polyrhytmics – Libra Stripes
Surprising no one, my new favorite band, the funksters from Seattle, Polyrhythmics, takes home the best album of 2013.

The Fat Clown Mixes Of 2013

Ho gawd, yes, 2013. Still. I keep getting worse and worse at this timeliness thing, huh?

All right, here we go, the two mixes I put together for my sisters-in-law this year (I think I managed to get it to them by MLK day, for the record) and the one I made for everybody else.

The People’s Mix:

  1. Heart Attack – Low Vs Diamond
  2. The Return Of… – Satchel
  3. In Pieces – Torche
  4. I Got Loaded – Los Lobos
  5. Plastic – Spiderbait
  6. Gold Guns Girls – Metric
  7. Pig Brag Crack – Sax Ruins
  8. Let Me Come Back – Girls Against Boys
  9. Is This Music? – Teenage Fanclub
  10. Merry Go Round – Buffalo Tom
  11. Run A Mile – BR549
  12. Tarbelly And Featherfoot – Lou Reed
  13. Ladyboy’s Night At The Cultural Relativism Saloon – Farmers Market
  14. Don’t Darlene – Rocket From The Crypt
  15. School’s For Fools – Life, Sex & Death
  16. Gyroscope – Dismemberment Plan
  17. This Moment – Matthew Sweet
  18. Breath On A Window – Alice In Chains
  19. Blow ‘Em Off – Monster Magnet
  20. No One Knows – Screaming Trees

Volume K:

  1. Heart Attack – Low Vs Diamond
  2. Timeless – The Airborne Toxic Event
  3. I Got Loaded – Los Lobos
  4. Inside – Toad The Wet Sprocket
  5. Who Do You Love – Bo Diddley
  6. Hello, Goodbye – The Beatles
  7. Pet Rock – Teenage Fanclub
  8. Plastic – Spiderbait
  9. 7 Seas – Girls Against Boys
  10. State Of Love And Trust – Pearl Jam
  11. Don’t Darlene – Rocket From The Crypt
  12. Gyroscope – Dismemberment Plan
  13. Blow ‘Em Off – Monster Magnet
  14. Nearly Lost You – Screaming Trees
  15. This Moment – Matthew Sweet
  16. The Ice & The Storm – My Brightest Diamond
  17. For So Long – Satchel

Volume S:

  1. Rock & Roll Music – The Beatles
  2. Heavy – Eleven
  3. Reverse Inverted – Torche
  4. Black Balloon – Monster Magnet
  5. Come On, Let’s Go – Los Lobos
  6. Fuckin’ Shit Ass – Life, Sex & Death
  7. You Are Invited – Dismemberment Plan
  8. What You Do To Me – Teenage Fanclub
  9. Frying Pan – Evan Dando
  10. Before I Sleep – Mazzy Star
  11. Takin’ It Back – Satchel
  12. Would? – Alice In Chains
  13. Don’t Forget Sister – Low Vs Diamond
  14. Main Road – Lucinda Williams
  15. 18 And Life – Skid Row
  16. Get Down – Girls Against Boys
  17. Inside A Boy – My Brightest Diamond
  18. Butterfly – Screaming Trees

Programming Notes

1) The last album eligible for the 2013 Clownies and the 2013 mixes is Sweet Relief.

2) I ended up with 325 full-hearted songs from 2013. Which is way way way too many to sort through to create my mixes. So from here on out I’m adding back mixers as a category of songs where full-hearted songs go to be considered for the year-end mix.

2012 Clownies

Album Of The Year – Give by The Bad Plus
Pretty easy. It was the only five clown CD I reviewed last year. And when I saw that that was the case, I kind of thought, yeah, that album was amazing.

Artist Of The Year – Brad
This could have been a number of artists I went after a lot this year: BR5-49, The Beatles, Tori Amos, The Bad Plus. But I reviewed all five of Brad’s albums, including one that came out last year, and they had two 4.5-clown records and two four-clown ratings as well.

Song Of The Year – “Helter Skelter” by The Beatles
Contenders were Seaweed’s “Chalk The Cracks” and “The Day Brings” by Brad, but good god, “Helter Skelter.”

The Fat Clown Mixes Of 2012

Hey, and now we’re on to this year. Or last year. You know what I mean. The big story with these mixes is that 2012 was the first year that a really significant portion of my listening was done on streaming apps like Rhapsody or Xbox Music. So I was actually significantly hampered when it came to putting my favorite songs on the mixes. I think these are still really good, but there were some really good songs I wanted to include that I couldn’t. At least not without shelling out more money.

Volume C:

  1. Especially Me – Low
  2. Buttercup – Brad
  3. Lost In My Mind – The Head And The Heart
  4. The Day Brings – Brad
  5. Rest – Parts & Labor
  6. And Here We Test Our Powers Of Observation – The Bad Plus
  7. Twist And Shout – The Beatles
  8. Ritual Union – Little Dragon
  9. Those Three Words – Brad
  10. A Hard Day’s Night – The Beatles
  11. Angels Of The Silences – Counting Crows
  12. Any Time At All – The Beatles
  13. Seven Nights To Rock – BR5-49
  14. Money (That’s What I Want) – The Beatles
  15. Repulsion – Quasi
  16. Standing In The Way Of Control – Gossip
  17. Dig Me Out – Sleater-Kinney
  18. New Tools – Seaweed
  19. New Radio – Bikini Kill
  20. Yes, You Are – Brad

Volume K:

  1. Buttercup – Brad
  2. Lost In My Mind – The Head And The Heart
  3. The Day Brings – Brad
  4. Rest – Parts & Labor
  5. A Hard Day’s Night – The Beatles
  6. Lift – Brad
  7. Dirty Blonde – The Bad Plus
  8. And Your Bird Can Sing – The Beatles
  9. Not Dying Today – Tori Amos
  10. Please Mister Postman – The Beatles
  11. Go – Indigo Girls
  12. Little Ramona – BR5-49
  13. Money (That’s What I Want) – The Beatles
  14. Repulsion – Quasi
  15. Angels Of The Silences – Counting Crows
  16. Dig Me Out – Sleater-Kinney
  17. Standing In The Way Of Control – Gossip
  18. New Tools – Seaweed
  19. New Radio – Bikini Kill
  20. La, La, La – Brad

Volume S:

  1. Especially Me – Low
  2. Buttercup – Brad
  3. Lost In My Mind – The Head And The Heart
  4. The Day Brings – Brad
  5. Ritual Union – Little Dragon
  6. Those Three Words – Brad
  7. Rest – Parts & Labor
  8. Seven Nights To Rock – BR5-49
  9. Twist And Should – The Beatles
  10. And Here We Test Our Powers Of Observation – The Bad Plus
  11. 18 Wheels And A Crowbar – BR5-49
  12. Money (That’s What I Want) – The Beatles
  13. Repulsion – Quasi
  14. Angels Of The Silences – Counting Crows
  15. Dig Me Out – Sleater-Kinney
  16. Standing In The Way Of Control – Gossip
  17. New Tools – Seaweed
  18. New Radio – Bikini Kill
  19. Not Enough – J Mascis
  20. Yes, You Are – Brad

The Fat Clown Mixes Of 2011

Yes, 2011. These are the mix CDs I gifted for Christmas 2011. I had a kid on 1/21/12 and it’s taken me less than a year from then to getting around to posting these. Not too bad, I’d say.

Without further ado.

Volume C:

  1. Il Cielo In Una Stanza – Mike Patton
  2. Forever – Walter Meego
  3. Of All The Gin Joints In All The World – Fall Out Boy
  4. The Great Mistake – Let Go
  5. This Stops At The River – Unsane
  6. A Dream Of Roses – Mike Patton
  7. We Break The Dawn – Michelle Williams
  8. The Best Revenge (Alex Gopher Retaliation Remix) – Fischerspooner
  9. What Child Is This – Vince Guaraldi Trio
  10. Still Am Tresen – Bohren & Der Club Of Gore
  11. Dog Breath Variations – Frank Zappa
  12. Half Of Something Else – The Airborne Toxic Event
  13. Old Gangsters Never Die – Rick Springfield
  14. Raindrops From The Sun (Hey Hey Hey) – Imani Coppola
  15. Song Of Victory – Tomahawk
  16. The Ungrateful Dead – Hella
  17. Microgravity – The Book Of Knots
  18. The Burial – Gangpol & Mit
  19. Make You Crazy (feat. Fema Kuti) – Brett Dennen
  20. Electric Flower – Melvins
  21. Where Not To Look For Freedom – The Belle Brigade

Wow, I’d forgotten how much good music I listened to in 2011. 2012 paled in comparison.

Volume K:

  1. Il Cielo In Una Stanza – Mike Patton
  2. A Perfect Twist (Vocal)  – Mike Patton
  3. Sun Dance – Tomahawk
  4. The Best Revenge (Alex Gopher Retaliation Remix) – Fischerspooner
  5. Let It Kill You – Imani Coppola
  6. Aviary – Saint-Saëns
  7. Half Of Something Else – The Airborne Toxic Event
  8. Make You Crazy (feat. Fema Kuti) – Brett Dennen
  9. I Love You And Buddha Too – Mason Jennings
  10. Woke Up White – Imani Coppola
  11. Ostia – Zu
  12. Say Hey (I Love You) (feat. Cherine Anderson) – Michael Franti & Spearhead
  13. The Softcore People Club – Gangpol & Mit
  14. We Break The Dawn – Michelle Williams
  15. Episode 5: My Left Wing Is Broken – Dälek/HAZE XXL
  16. 30th Birthday (feat. J. Martin Coppola & Pete Miser) – Imani Coppola
  17. Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner – Fall Out Boy
  18. The Ungrateful Dead – Hella
  19. Poison – Martina Topley-Bird
  20. We’re Gonna Have A Good Time – Rick Springfield
  21. Like A Vibration – The Whigs
  22. Fox – Tiriganiak – Tanya Tagaq
  23. My Little Drum – Vince Guaraldi Trio

Volume S:

  1. Christmas Is Coming – Vince Guaraldi Trio
  2. Ti Offro Da Bere – Mike Patton
  3. Jessica – Rick Springfield
  4. Of All The Gin Joints In All The World – Fall Out Boy
  5. The Great Mistake – Let Go
  6. This Stops At The River – Unsane
  7. Give Me Love (No Llores) (New Version) – Monte Negro
  8. Bag Of Hammers – Thao
  9. Return To You – Alain Johannes
  10. Raindrops From The Sun (Hey Hey Hey) – Imani Coppola
  11. Half Of Something Else – The Airborne Toxic Event
  12. Treat Me Gently In The Morning – Rick Springfield
  13. Legs (Remix) – ZZ Top
  14. Forever – Walter Meego
  15. Lying – Martina Topley-Bird
  16. A Perfect End – Mike Patton
  17. Theme From Mission Magic – Rick Springfield
  18. Home – Glasser
  19. Microgravity – The Book Of Knots
  20. Evil New War God – Melvins
  21. Hirohata – Dälek/HAZE XXL
  22. One Broken Heart – Rick Springfield
  23. Where Not To Look For Freedom – The Belle Brigade