PAW: Death To Traitors

deathtotraitorsHave mercy. Make it stop. This is the worst album I’ve listened to in a very long while. I’m probably (mercifully) forgetting something, but I’m thinking the last time I reviewed something this awful was Naked, a gift from J-mez.

Obviously music had already died by 1995. Looking back it’s clear, what with Bush and Collective Soul already paving the way for Third Eye Blind, Three Doors Down, Candlebox, Goo Goo Dolls, and the like. (I may have my timelines a bit wrong, but I’m not going to bother to fact-check. Feel free to do so for me in the comments.) But this is just like a combination of all of that crap, echoing some of it and predating the rest of it. There’s Hootie And The Blowfish style country mixed with yarling that would make Bush and Creed proud. It’s the absolute worst of Midwest frat boys wrapping themselves in grunge stylings.

Every once in a while in this pile of worthlessness, there’s part of a song that I like and I think could have been part of something. And then one of two things happens. The first is that the singer starts singing, which makes me want to break every object within reach. The second thing is that they just up and change the song. It’s like they realized their favorite songs were a little more advanced than verse-chorus-verse by having a bridge in it, but what they’ve done is not create bridges but rather bridges both from and to nowhere…floating masses of space junk completely disconnected from what came before or after it. And somehow they manage to pull this off on every song. I don’t know what producer Clif Norrell was paid, but whatever it was it was way too much.

Even though half of these 14 songs get a Meh rating, that’s generous, and usually based on me hearing just that song in isolation. I’m exhausted by the awfulness of this album and after just a few monotonic songs compressed to leave no room for nuance I want to just write everything off as Hate. If you’re curious, just listen to the worst song, “Badger,” and try not to get nauseous at the lyrics. But you’ve been warned. This should never have been made.

Rating:
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Meh: “No Such Luck,” “Death To Traitors,” “Glue Mouth Kid,” “Max The Silent,” “Sweet Sally Brown,” “Peach,” “Sunflower”
Dislike: “Hope I Die Tonight,” “Swollen,” “Last One,” “Built Low,” “Texas”
Hate: “Seasoned Glove,” “Badger”
Song Notes: After the jump

  1. No Such Luck – They should have quit after the first three minutes. But they tried to be smarter than they were and failed. and it’s all downhill from here. And it’s funny because I actually like the end part, but together these do not a song make.
  2. Seasoned Glove – and then just into some totally stupid different vibe. They don’t know who they want to be. They’re just like Collective Soul + Alice In Chains + Goo Goo Dolls plus whatever other shit bands they can think of like Three Doors Down and Third Eye Blind and Candlebox and fuck it all sucks. then they turn it into a different song halfway through that also sucks. Okay I’m more forgiving of these awful lyrics now that I realize they’re told from the perspective of the abandoned kid, not the jilted lover.
  3. Hope I Die Tonight – this one starts with a good classic riff then moves into an uptempo bit that is horrible when paired with what came before but might work on its own, and there’s a chorus which isn’t bad.
  4. Swollen –
  5. Last One –
  6. Death To Traitors – and now for something completely different. stupid end. rocking part is nearly like.
  7. Built Low – almost six minutes. parts are okay.
  8. Glue Mouth Kid – super yarly
  9. Texas –
  10. Max The Silent –
  11. Sweet Sally Brown – sounds like “sweet celebrant”. If I had to pick a fave song, it would be this. Almost like. Maybe on another record it would be.
  12. Badger – The. Worst. The worst everything.
  13. Peach – dumb, boring, too long (and it’s far and away the shortest track on the record).
  14. Sunflower
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