Porno For Pyros: Porno For Pyros

Hated it when it came out.  Hated it every time I’d come back to it hoping for something different.  Hated it when I picked it up again for this re-review.  Now I merely dislike it.  I still don’t quite look forward to listening to it, but I hear a lot more that I like now than I ever did before.

The problem with this album isn’t that there isn’t any good music (there’s actually quite a bit of that), but that there are hardly any songs.  In other words, almost every track on here has at least one thing working for it and at least one thing working against it.  It’s like there are two types of songs: those where they couldn’t quite get it all together to make it work and those where they couldn’t leave well enough alone and not insert something stupid.

Perry Farrell’s lyrics are awful.  Just horrendous.  If you’re putting together a list of all-time worst lyrics on an album, this album has to be on the short list.  It’s funny, though, that I don’t think they’re that much worse than some of his stuff for Jane’s Addiction, but for some reason it’s charming there.  It’s like the JA guitarist does better with Farrell’s lyrics than the PFP guitarist.

Rating:
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– “Sadness,” “Porno For Pyros,” “Meija,” “Cursed Female,” “Cursed Male,” “Bad Shit,” “Packin’ .25,” “Blood Rag”
– “Pets,” “Black Girlfriend,” “Orgasm”
Filed Between: Iggy Pop (Lust For Life) and Portishead (Portishead)
Song Notes: After the jump

  1. Sadness – Terrible sound, but not a terrible song.  You can tell they wanted it to sound like Jane’s Addiction, but it’s so muddy.
  2. Porno For Pyros – probs the best one.
  3. Meija – “Everybody count your money.”  This is them trying to do “Been Caught Stealing.”  Could also be the best one.
  4. Cursed Female – Has some parts that seem like they could have been in a JA song.  Not 100% awful.  Hate the beginning.  The lyrics seem misogynist in their pity to me.  I can’t believe this made its way to be open-hearted.
  5. Cursed Male – Pretty sure the premise of this song is wrong.  Ask Zuckerberg.  Is the point of this couple of songs that the worst case for a female is waaaaaayyyy worse than the trivial worst case for a male?  And I even kind of like the song except for the lyrics.  Mostly I like the drums on that “all the guys” part, but, and I can’t believe I’m about to do this, I like enough of it enough to push it up to open.  Wow.  But I want to emphasize this would only have been “like” under the old system, not “keep.”
  6. Pets – Oh god this starts off with those dumb lyrics about how kids and “elderlies” are innocent but everybody else is f’ed up.  So horrible.
  7. Bad Shit – Has its moments.  Might have even been keep.
  8. Packin’ .25 – Also has its moments.  Yeah, I hate the start of this, but it really does get good in the second half.  Probs would not have been keep due to that crappy start, but it stays open.
  9. Black Girlfriend – Jesus i think even parts of this might be growing on me.  This is them trying to do “Three Days.”
  10. Blood Rag – Has its moments. Yeah, this is pretty a-ite, too.  Kind of a Brad thing where it’s some good parts/riffs/beats but they’re not really composed together.
  11. Orgasm – God I hate this.  Most simultaneously pretentious and awful song ever?  Probably.
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