All In On The Ass Juice Guy

[I’ve resurrected a couple of posts from four years ago here and here where Fat Clown (kind of) predicted on January 1, 2008 that Barack Obama would be our next President based on having sent (not really) friend of the blog Beckers to Dubuque to do some on-the-ground reporting in the days leading up to the caucuses.  I won’t spoil our prediction for the eventual Republican nominee, but, in case you’re not aware, this explains the title of this post.  Here’s Beckers’ report. -Ed.]

The report from the Iowa caucuses is pretty short. A local source (my Mom) suggested that Dubuque is too liberal to be of great interest to the Republicans, so they haven’t spent a lot of time there. Still, I was hoping to attend an event or at least to interview an eyewitness of one, but was informed me that the scant appearances by Republican candidates are accessible by invite only (generally to a selected group or to card-carrying registered Republican paying customers.)

My informal polling results are also a bit fuzzy.

Because I spent most of my Christmas vacation without the clothes I packed, I was unable to conduct my usual polling techniques (going for a run). Instead, I cataloged the following over the duration of my stay in Dubuque:

Rick Santorum: 5 signs, but these were distributed over 3 lawns
Ron Paul: two signs, on two lawns, but each measured at least 4′ x 10′
Barack Obama: one sign, presumably resurrected from his last visit

So, if you measure by numbers, Santorum has a narrow lead. If you measure by surface area or sheer enthusiasm, Ron Paul is the clear winner.

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